Insurance company.

So on Friday 11th September I was driving up to Mayo in Quebec to go camping for the weekend.

Between Buckingham and Mayo, for some unknown reason (because Quebec?) the left lane of the 2 lane section of highway 50 ends, so you have to merge into the right lane.

It looks like this on Google Maps:

 

and it's located here: https://www.google.ca/maps/place/45%C2%B033'39.8%22N+75%C2%B024'07.7%22W/@45.5609592,-75.4032494,198m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m6!3m5!1s0x0:0x0!7e2!8m2!3d45.5610548!4d-75.4021477

I had almost completed merging into the right lane, when I get rear ended. The guy who rear ends me proceeds to then steer around to the right, and then swerved back to the left, into the right side of my car.

This starts pushing the car sideways, and causing me to aim towards the barrier off the right side of the road. I steer to the left, but as it seems like the other driver is either accelerating, or at least not slowing, I'm unable to do much, and my car gets rammed off the road and into the barrier, being pinned there between it and his car.

The dashcam footage can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-75sJbQGiDg

A couple of seconds after everything comes to a stop, before I've had a chance to do anything, the rear window of my car shatters, and glass explodes all through the car, even ending up on the front dash.

I get out of the car to find out what is going on, to realise that the other driver has managed to exit his car and punch or hit my window causing it to explode, all in those couple of seconds.

After some yelling between us, while the guy yells that I "should have merged back there" while flailing his arms in the general direction of way back up the road (uh, no, that's not how zipper merging works), I walked away.

I asked my passenger to call 911, because I don't see this situation being resolved in any reasonable manner without the police being involved. I then sat back in the car, with the door open. This was my effort to de-escalate the situation.

Initially the 911 operator says that we "need to work it out". I'm about to work it out, I'll tell you. I respond via my passenger who's on the phone with them, and I said "no, the guy punched out my window. I need the police to respond to this call". Apparently they are now going to send some officers out.

I continue waiting in the car. Everyone else is just slowly navigating around the vehicles and continuing on their way. It's hard to tell the time that had passed, maybe 10 minutes? and eventually a single driver stops, and asks through their window if we're all OK, which I tell them we are, and they continued.

I walked around and looked at my car, and took a few photos to document where the vehicles ended up:

 

  

Another few minutes passed, and I heard a siren. A police vehicle arrived, and shortly after one of the officers came to speak to me. He told me that they had not been dispatched to this, they were on their way somewhere else, but they stopped to see what was going on.

I provided my vehicle paperwork, insurance, registration, ownership, drivers licence etc, which the officer took away to check.

At this point 2 ambulances arrived. The paramedics and one of the officers came to speak with us, and they told us to go and have our vital signs checked, and make sure we weren't injured.

I felt fine, since it was a fairly low speed collision, and the air bags didn't deploy or anything, but I agreed to be checked, mostly because I wanted to make sure that my passenger wasn't injured.

They took our blood pressure and heart rate etc, and had us just check we didn't have sore necks or anything. We both had high blood pressure (which apparently is normal for me anyway, as I had just had a physical examination the previous day as part of my drivers licence, as I have a class B licence in Ontario, and I measured with HBP, just as I do every single time I donate blood).

They wanted us to be transported to the hospital for further examination, but neither my passenger nor I felt that was necessary, so we accepted responsibility for ourselves, as they have audio recording on the monitor that's used to measure our heart rates and blood pressure, and then we climbed back out of the ambulance.

By this time the police officers which had been dispatched to deal with this had arrived. One of them came to speak with me as I was returning from the ambulance to my car.

He asked me for my phone number, and to see my health card and get my OHIP number. I was then handed a slip with the "Numero d'evenement (CRPQ)" on it.

The officer told me that his breaking my window was a criminal offence, and he asked if I wished to press charges against the driver for that. I briefly thought about it. I asked if the driver had been injured, and they told me that apparently he had injured his hand and/or arm, and also that he had refused assistance from the paramedics.

I told the officer that if they were willing to give him a serious warning for breaking the window, which the officer said the other officer was already doing, and taking into consideration that he was injured, which is probably fair punishment, that I would leave it, however I asked who was going to pay for the window to be replaced, and the officer told me that one of the insurance companies would pay for it, so at that point I said I would not press charges.

The officer also told me that I could change my mind at a later time, and that there is no limit on that.

The officers then asked if I felt that my car was drivable, or if I would need a tow truck. I said that I had no idea at this point, as it was still pinned against the barrier, and I couldn't see until the other driver moved his vehicle.

He did this, reversing over my hubcap which was on the ground behind his wheel in the process, breaking it, and then he left, as I guess he had been told he could leave.

The officers asked me to back up and to check my steering, to make sure everything was OK. I tried to start my car to reverse it away from the barrier to look at it, but it wouldn't start, as it had stalled when it hit the barrier, and I hadn't turned the ignition off, so it had probably been sitting there for an hour and a half at this point.

I had a booster pack, so I was able to jump start my car, and then checked around it, I kicked some of the glass away from the tyres, picked up my ruined hubcap off the road, along with another large piece of plastic (which later turned out to be part of some unknown other vehicle, since it was white, so I guess this section of road must be great for collisions..)

I backed my car up, and I go out and looked, I couldn't see any damage to the wheel, it looks like it was contained to the bumper cover.

I reversed the car up while steering, and went forwards, it seemed fine. The police asked me to do it again, they thought it looked fine, and it felt to me, so they said I was free to go.

They also said that if I drove for a minute and decided that it wasn't driving correctly, that I could call them back, and they come back to us, and get a tow truck.

After confirming where we were going, they suggested I take the back roads rather than the highway, and so we drove the 20 minutes to our destination.

Thankfully one of the guys at the campsite had a vacuum in his car (and I thought I brought stupid things camping!), and I had my 1800W inverter (see previous point), so I was able to use his vacuum to clean up some of the glass, which was literally everywhere.

Pieces of glass had managed to end up in the bags of food I had bought for the camping trip, and had also managed to pierce a hole in a can of beer, causing it to leak all over the back seat of the car.

Let's play "find the glass" in all the food before you can eat it..

I used a garbage bag to tape up the window in case it rained, which apparently is going to be my window for the rest of time..

On Saturday I called my insurance company, and provided them with all the details of what happened. Annoyingly, even though I provided my policy number, I had to give them a bunch of details which they should have already had, such as my name and address, and the details of my car..

On Tuesday, they called me again, and asked all the same questions to get all the same details yet again, before then telling me that because I only have liability insurance on my car that they aren't going to pay for anything.

You know why I only have liability insurance? Because insurance companies are the most useless scammers I've ever come across, and I am not going to give you one single cent more than I am absolutely required by law to. What other industry spends more money on lawyers fighting to avoid paying out their customers, to whom it would cost them less to do so? Evil.

I also asked about the window, and apparently since that didn't happen as part of the collision, neither insurance company is responsible (not that my insurance company would apparently have paid for it anyway), and so I'm going to need to sue the other driver through small claims court to get him to pay for the window.

I guess I will also need to press charges then, so that I can use his criminal conviction for the damage as part of my claim against him. I have better things to do with the next several years of my life. Sigh.

So at this point I got pretty frustrated, and I asked what the point of this conversation is at this point, which is apparently nothing, so I said goodbye and hung up.

Later in the day I found that Gmail had conveniently flagged the email from the insurance agent as spam and shoved it in the spam folder..

Dear Simon,

I am sorry that I was not able to assist with regard to damages on your auto.  Regretfully with no collision coverage I am unable to advance with any repairs.

I realize it is frustrating for you as the other party did not allow you entrance into their lane and further punched your window once you had both pulled over.

 I do not have the other party information, would you be able to provide name, who they are insured with and their insurance company? 

I will be happy to contact them and discuss this situation with them asking they contact you with regard to their client punching your window.

As we discussed the Ontario rules of the road stipulate under fault determination the person changing lanes is responsible when the other driver is established in this lane.  I wish I could make that change, however I am obligated to use these rules.

Under section 10.4

    (4)  If the incident occurs when automobile “B” is changing lanes, the driver of automobile “A” is not at fault and the driver of automobile “B” is 100 per cent at fault for the incident.

I do not always like these decisions however I am bound to enforce these regulations.  Therefore you would be at fault as vehicle B in the above diagram.

If you have any  questions on your policy, please reach out to your local Financial Services and they can answer any policy questions or discuss if this would have any impact to your policy in any way.

I apologize the decision made is not in your favor. 

Thank you,

[redacted]

Personal Line Client Care Expert

Moncton Reporting Center| The Co-operators

10 Record St, Moncton, NB, E1C 8N9

Toll Free: 1-877-682-5246 extension XXXXXX

Toll Free fax: 1-888-853-1318

I later found that that image has been sourced from "Insurance Act R.R.O. 1990, REGULATION 668 FAULT DETERMINATION RULES", here: https://www.ontario.ca/laws/regulation/900668

My reply:

Hello [name],

I sincerely apologise for the curt ending to our phone call regarding this matter. I was very frustrated, as you can imagine.

Perhaps I was not explaining the way the incident occurred sufficiently, which is causing you to think that I am at fault in this collision, when I do not believe that to be the case.

The initial collision was between the other vehicle, and the rear of my vehicle, towards the right rear corner, while I was at least 2/3 of the way into the right lane, if not further towards completing my lane change. I feel this would be described as that he "rear ended" me.

He then proceeded to drive around to my right, before he steered to the left, and into the right side of my car, into the right rear passenger door, pushing my car to the left, causing my car to skid sideways to the left, and causing me to head towards the barrier on the right side of the road. I steered to the left to attempt to avoid hitting the barrier, but I was unable to, as the other driver seemed to accelerate as he was pushing my vehicle.

Once my vehicle hit the barrier, both vehicles stopped, with his vehicle pinning mine against the barrier, and within a couple of seconds he had exited his vehicle, and proceeded to hit or punch my rear window with his hand, causing it to explode and spray glass through the car.

The diagrams from section 10.4 you have included do not illustrate what happened. I have attached a few diagrams of my own, to show how the collision occurred. Please find these attached. The black angled line indicates the lane ending, and the line on the right in the last image is the barrier my car was pushed into.

The closest diagram you sent, the first one, is basically what happened as the second impact; with the other driver as vehicle B, as he steered around to my right, seemingly trying to undertake my vehicle, and then he swerved back to the left, into the right rear passenger door of my vehicle, which is why I believe him to be at fault, and what your diagram would also show to be the case.

I have a dashcam in my car, which I did not previously mention as it has not been working properly for a while, and I actually forgot about it as I didn't expect it to have anything useful on it, however it does, and I have uploaded the video to youtube which can be viewed here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-75sJbQGiDg

I do not have any details of the other driver. After he smashed my window I exited my vehicle to find out what his deal was, and after some brief yelling between the both of us, I walked back to my door and proceeded to ask my passenger to call 911, and I sat back in my car with the door open, as a way to de-escalate the situation until the police arrived. I had no further interaction with the other driver. Two police cars arrived and mediated the situation, (as well as two ambulances, which took my and my passenger's vital signs). The police recorded all my details, and presumably his, and they just provided me with the slip with the CRPQ number on it, being XXXXX.

At no point did the police ask me for a statement of how the collision occurred. They only asked me if I wished to press charges against the other driver, as his smashing my window is a criminal offence, however I told them that I did not wish to at this point, as apparently he had injured his hand or arm in the process, and I said that I felt dealing with his injury would be punishment enough. The police informed me that I could change my mind, and it now seems like I will need to press charges against him, and then attempt to sue him through small claims court for the cost of replacing my window, since apparently neither insurance company is going to cover it.

The GPS tags on the photos I took show that the collision occurred at near Buckingham, and the stretch of road, and where the lane ends, can be seen there on Google Maps: https://www.google.ca/maps/place/45%C2%B033'39.8%22N+75%C2%B024'07.7%22W/@45.5610561,-75.4028003,334m/data=!3m2!1e3!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x0:0x0!7e2!8m2!3d45.5610548!4d-75.4021477

This collision occurred in Quebec, rather than Ontario, however I suspect that doesn't make any difference to the rules of the road, nor your policies which are applied, I mention this primarily for the purposes for data accuracy.

Please also see the photos I took of how/where the vehicles ended up, here: [google drive URL]

I would highly appreciate it if you could review the whole scenario, taking into consideration my written description of the incident, my diagrams, dash cam video, and photos.

Regards,

Simon

These are the diagrams which I made up and provided:

My email got an auto reply, saying "Please be advised I am out of office and returning Sept 16th at 9:00 Atlantic time".

 

Meanwhile, on Thursday I decided to clean all the broken glass out of the car, since apparently it's going to be me that ends up fixing it. This was a fun exercise which only required dismantling half the car in order to get into all the places where glass had managed to end up, and since I don't really want to be driving around with a half smashed window behind me, I went about getting what was rest of the glass off the door, which also required removing the entire door, since a bunch of the glass had ended up inside it, and there's no other way to get it out..

I still couldn't manage to get all the glass out of the door, as much as I tipped it upside and shook it all over the place, so forever more I'm going to get to hear chunks of glass rattle around whenever the door is opened or closed.

A week passes. I have heard nothing from the insurance company.

I replied "It has been a week since I replied to your email, can I please have an update on this matter?"

Frustrated, I move on to the next issue, the window. In order to sue the other driver, I'm pretty sure I'll need to know some details about him, like perhaps his name and address? I don't have anything except the police event number, since the officers were the only ones who spoke with him.

I find the Quebec Police website, contact us has 911 or 310-4141 as the contact numbers. Pretty sure I don't need to call 911, but I'm also pretty sure that other number isn't going to work..

What a surprise. I get a big long message in French, followed by the English version, that "this toll free number is not available from your calling area. Hang up and call back on 514 598 4141".

So I do that, and I end up at a phone menu which is only in French. Zero doesn't work, and neither does 1 or 2 or anything else I try to enter, and I have no idea what it's saying, other than something about "invalid option". Argh.

OK, let's go back to dealing with the insurance company again, since I'm now frustrated with something else instead.

I look up how to make a complaint about the service, apparently each company has their own complaints department you need to contact first. I'm sure that process works really well. So I email them:

I am currently quite unimpressed with the service that I have "received", after a collision which occurred on Friday 11th September.

On Saturday 12th I called and provided all the details of the collision, including the fact that I was rear ended, before the guy who rear ended me then drove into the side of my vehicle, and proceeded to ram me off the road and into the barrier, before he got out of his car and proceeded to punch my window and explode glass all through my car, which the police informed me is a criminal offence.

On Monday 14th [oops, it was Tuesday, but whatever..] I was called, to have to provide all of the information and details all over again for some reason, only to be told that apparently it's my fault that I was rear ended and rammed off the road, and that you're not going to pay for any of the repairs to my vehicle.

I then replied and included dash cam footage showing that I was rear ended and pit manoeuvred and rammed off the road, including photos, and diagrams to show what happened, and the Quebec Police event number, to receive the reply of.. nothing.

Hello? Can I please have some sort of reply to all of the evidence I have provided which shows that I am not at fault for this collision which occurred?

Your assistance with this matter would be greatly appreciated.

So at this point.. I've got an insurance company that's ignoring me, no back window, no details on the guy who's supposed to be paying for the window, and no way to get the details of the guy who's supposed to pay for the window.

Serenity Now!

Fucking eBay

A few months ago I found some LTE modems in the e-waste bin at work, they're a model we don't (didn't ever?) sell/use at work. They had the antennas removed from them, since they are the same antennas that can be used with the model that we actually did sell. There were also no power supplies.

I finally got around to listing them on ebay a while later. I had 8 of them, and I ran a fixed price auction accepting offers. Here's the listing:

As you can see, I clearly listed "Does not include anything other than the unit. Does not include the power supply (requires 12V 1A supply with a small barrel connector). Does not include antennas (uses RP-SMA connection)."

I sold the first 7 of them, no issues whatsoever. Each one was carefully boxed up and shipped out the same or next day. All 7 buyers gave me positive feedback. One buyer wanted his for use in Guatemala, so we had some back and forth discussion regarding the radio band compatibility, and I preinstalled OpenWRT for him, including installing the web UI module for configuring the LTE module, so it was ready to go out of the box. He was very happy.

Then I sold the 8th one, apparently to someone who cannot read.

A couple of days after shipping it out, I get an email from eBay..

"The buyer requested a return because there’s something wrong with the item. Please accept this request and provide a return shipping label as soon as possible.

If you don't resolve this request by Nov 08, 2019, you may be required to issue a refund without the item being returned to you."

WTF. 

Buyer claims "The item arrived with neither antennas nor supplier. it is not a usable item".

Uhh. I responded "The ad clearly states that those are not included."

I figured this would be the end of it. How wrong I was, and how fucking retarded eBay is.

The buyer did not respond, until 6 days later, it has been escalated to eBay.

mmbbaadd has asked us to step in and help to review the case on D-Link DWR-921 4G 3G LTE wifi Router 4-Port unlocked. The case ID is 5213102547

We'll review the case, including any messages that you and the seller sent through eBay. We'll get back to you within 48 hours.

You can view the details of this case in the Resolution Center.

I click through to view the details of the case, and it claims

"The seller refuses to admit that he sold a device with missing parts and in a non operational condition. I did not get any return instruction nor refund.
Reason for escalation: I can't work things out with the seller"

At this point, eBay very helpfully gives you no way to respond to this. I looked all over the place for support contact details, or a way to reply to the message, but there is nothing. They have done a good job on engineering things so you have no way to contact them.

I ranted on twitter at them:

@eBay Why is it so difficult to contact support? I wanted to escalate an issue immediately, but are required to wait days. Then because the customer escalated first, I get no chance to respond to their false claims? [including the URL of where I was already ranting about this on Facebag].

Eventually they responded to me:

(1/2) When a request is opened, there's a 3 business day grace period for both parties to work on a resolution. If one isn't made, then either party can ask us to step in. We'll evaluate the communication/documentation each party provides and take appropriate action.

(2/2) Please know, the action we take is the same no matter which party asks us to step in. If you don’t agree with our decision, you’re welcome to appeal the case decision> https://ebay.to/2Qe9NEA within 30 days of the case being closed. ~Kate

While I waited for this reply, I got another message from eBay:

Your case was placed on hold temporarily. We will get back to you with an update by Nov 16, 2019.

We have asked for more information from your customer to confirm the condition of the item received. If any additional information is needed from you we will request it through an email.

Ok, I think that this means they are going to be investigating this properly. They are asking the buyer to confirm that they received the unit only, as the listing says that is all that is included. Wrong.

This was the next message:

I am contacting you about the return request (5130592192) filed for D-Link DWR-921 4G 3G LTE wifi  (254254038904) by "mmbbaadd".

I've reviewed the details of the request and found that the best resolution is to ask the buyer to return the item to you for a full refund. Because the item was not as described, we're asking you to pay for the return postage.

I've placed the request on hold for 4 days to give you time to arrange the return postage with the buyer. Please note that if you don't resolve the issue by November 16,2019,we'll issue the buyer a full refund on your behalf without requiring the item to be returned

What the actual fuck eBay?

I replied to the email, expecting it to bounce as coming from an undeliverable email, but surprisingly was accepted. This was my reply:

The item I listed and sold (including 7 times previously with positive feedback) in the description clearly and specifically defines "does not include antennas or power supply". I have included a screenshot.

Customer opened a case to return the item, because it "doesn't include antennas or power supply".

The item the customer received is exactly as it was listed and described. It is unfortunate that the customer failed to read the description of the item.

The screenshots I included:

Ok, so hopefully they will review that, and realise that I clearly stated that the antennas and power supply are not included, and then it will get sorted. Wrong.

The next reply:

Thank you for your response about the D-Link DWR-921 4G 3G LTE wifi Router(254254038904). I understand that you disagree with the buyers return reason because you've been accurate with your listing. I here to assist you.

I can see that you specifically states in the listing that antennas are not included. However, your photos shows, that the antennas are included Every seller is required to post the items original photos/condition.With this, the buyer is eligible to return the item.

I suggest that you provide means of return so that you can get the item back before issuing a refund.

I trust that I was able to assist you today. Thank you and have a great day!

"Have a great day!" Yeah. I'll get right on that. You know what would make my day great? If I didn't have to continue arguing with you about this crap, and you just solved this properly.

OK, let's try this again.

Hi Shanna,

Thank you for your response to my email, addressing my concerns that I have with this transaction. I have been an eBay buyer and seller for 20 years, completing I don't know how many transactions perfectly in that time. Having a 100% positive feedback rating, and being able to resolve the couple of minor issues I've had previously directly with buyers or sellers without having to ask for assistance from eBay are things that I pride myself on.

I do understand the customer's frustration, and disappointment, that they have received less than they were expecting, however what they received is exactly what was described in the listing. I have previously sold 7 of this item, via this listing, and none of those other buyers had any issues, and all of them gave me positive feedback for all of those transactions.

I did not have physical access to the items I was selling as I was not in the same location at the time I created the listing, so I was unable to take and use my own photos, which I would normally do, and instead I used the manufacturer's images from their website. I recognise that two of three images in the listing show the non included antennas. This is why I stressed in the short, concise, and clear description of the item that they are not included.

The second image shows the item/device exactly as the customer received it, with no antennas attached. In no way was I attempting to be misleading with the images in the listing.

All that aside, the "missing" antennas, which the buyer is disputing, are optional. They are not at all required for the item which the buyer received to be functional. It works without them. I say this based on the fact that I work for a service provider with thousands of customers using these devices, across many sites, many of which do not even have the optional antennas installed.

This is why I disagree with their statement of "The seller refuses to admit that he sold a device with missing parts and in a non operational condition. I did not get any return instruction nor refund."

The device is perfectly operational. It was tested by me to make sure of that before I shipped it to the buyer, because I don't want unhappy eBay customers, and I know you don't either.

The only part the buyer can possibly claim is "missing", for the item to be fully operational, is a compatible power supply/adapter. There's no power adapter shown in any of the images in the listing, and the description also specifically says there is not one included. This adapter is any 12v 1A supply, which is also specified on the device itself. Most people have a junk drawer or box containing power adapters so they can provide this themselves, or they are buying one to replace a failed unit (which would mean they also had the antennas), which I presume the other purchasers of this listing did.

Alternatively, perhaps the other buyers did not have a compatible power supply, so they bought one, probably off eBay, like this item for example, for $5: https://www.ebay.ca/itm/12V-2A-3-5mm-Power-Supply-Adapter-for-D-Link-DIR-655-DIR-825-855-Wireless-Router/382815657700?hash=item5921975ee4:g:i5wAAOSw8KRceV9z

I would like to find a resolution to this issue which the buyer, eBay/you, and myself find acceptable. To that end, I am willing to provide a partial refund so that the the buyer can obtain a compatible power supply if they don't have one, and even the optional antennas, which I see also available on your site for around $2.

Please let me know how we would like to proceed resolving this. You can call me on [redacted] if that is preferable to corresponding via email.

Regards,

Simon

A while later I get a reply..

Thank you for getting back to eBay about the D-Link Router 4-Port. I understand that you would like to know how to proceed with this return since you were able to describe the item correctly. Rest assured that I’m here to help you on what you’ll need to do next to resolve your concern.

Simon, I really do appreciate the effort that you have exerted just to resolve the issue. At this time, we have placed the case on a temporary hold to allow time for you to arrange return shipping for your buyer, or provide a resolution such as partial refund. If you fail to do this, the claim will be closed and a refund will be issued to your buyer without requiring the item to be returned. Obviously, we don't want to go this route so we encourage that you work with your buyer through this return.

I want you to know that I find it truly amazing that you haven't received any defect for any of the 5 transactions you've had within the last 12 months. I'm particularly impressed that you promptly responded with your buyer's return request as it shows how much committed you are in providing excellent service. Kindly continue to communicate with them. I assure you that you will have our unending support in your selling endeavors.

I am glad that I was able to help you on how you’ll proceed with this return, and I wish you all the best in your future eBay transactions.

First of all, if I described the item correctly, why are we proceeding with a return at all?!

Second of all, what kind of shitty sellers does eBay have that managing all of 5 transactions in a year without one defect is "truly amazing"? Not to mention the fact that I have done closer to 20 transactions in the last year, all with no defects. Ridiculous.

I replied:

I attempted to contact the customer to offer a partial refund, however when I view the case, my only option is to issue a full refund.

How do I go about contacting the buyer and offering him a $20 refund, so that he can spend $7 to buy the power supply and optionally the antennas, in a manner that if he accepts will allow the case to be closed properly?

Reply:

Thanks for reaching us back regarding the "Router 4-Port" (254254038904) sold to "mmbbaadd". I learned that you would like to contact the buyer and offer a $20.00 refund. I appreciate how you have been professional and cordial with every intention to work things out with your buyer. Your selling practice is impressive as shown by your constant communication. Please know that the professionalism you’ve exerted in handling this concern is indeed commendable. Allow me to help you further also allow me to provide steps on how to send monkey through PayPal.

I provided you the link on how you can contact the buyer and offer a $20.00 refund, just click this link I provided and you will be redirected to the page where you can send the buyer a message: https://www.ebay.ca/contact/sendmsg?item_id=254254038904&recipient=mmbbaadd&message_type_id=14

Once the buyer agreed to accept the refund amount $20.00, simply follow the steps below on how to send money. You can use PayPal to send money to anyone with an email address, even if they don't have a PayPal account set up. (They'll need to open one to get the money, though.)

Then it falls off into canned response land..

So contacting eBay support has now pretty much become a waste of time.

I messaged the buyer and made the offer directly:

Hi Arie,

I have been corresponding with eBay trying to find a resolution to our issue. The suggested resolution is for me to give you a partial refund for the item.

Even though my listing states that the antennas and power supply are not included, eBay says that you may have mistakenly thought that the antennas were included, as they are shown in 2 of the images in the listing. I used D-Link's images from their product page, as I didn't have the devices to hand to take my own photos of for the listing.

The antennas are optional, they are not required for the device to be functional. My company has thousands of these devices deployed, and many do not have the antennas installed, and they work fine. The antennas actually make very little difference to the signal strength.

The only part required for the device to be perfectly usable is the power supply, which is not shown in the images in the listing, and the description also states that it is not included.

However, I would like for us to come to an arrangement that we both find acceptable. If I had a power supply and the antennas for these units, then I would just send them to you. Unfortunately I don't, I borrowed the power supply and antennas from a different model in order to test the devices as working before I shipped them out.

The device needs any power supply rated for 12V at 1A to work, with a 3.5mm x 1.35mm plug to fit, and any antennas with RP-SMA connectors will fit and are compatible. Looking on eBay, I see that a compatible power supply can be purchased for $5, eg item number 382815657700, or they can be found on Amazon or NewEgg etc for less than $10, and the antennas for $2, eg item number 312206376838.

As a result, I would like to offer you a refund of $20, to cover the cost of the power supply and antennas which were not included, so that you can purchase them both for $10 or so, with the other $10 because I am sorry for your inconvenience.

If this is acceptable I will send it immediately.

The buyer gives me this lovely response:

It is unacceptable! I cannot use this router without  neither the antennas nor the power supply. 

If I that the supplied is without the ante as and without the power supply I would not buy.

As a matter of fact the picture of the router in your advertising  clearly shows the antennas. For me it is very astonishing that eBay considers it as my mistake.

It was your misleading. 

Hmm, I consider that to be more than reasonable, and it is an offer that I would accept if I had not read a listing properly, and bought something erroneously, consider I would then end up with what I thought I was buying, and paying less for it than I originally did..

Frustrated, I responded again:

I am sorry that you did not read the listing properly and you purchased something other than you were expecting. The listing explicitly states that the power supply and antennas are not included.

I previously sold 7 of these to other people and they all gave me positive feedback as they received exactly what the listing described.

I am offering to refund you $20 so that you can spend $10 and buy the power supply and antennas that you incorrectly thought were included.

At that point you will have exactly what you thought you were buying. Can you please tell me why you don't find this to be an acceptable resolution?

Another lovely reply:

It is unacceptable. You were missliding and you still avoid getting me the refund. You offer arrived too late well after I had to seek and buy another solusion. 

Ebay please step in and help me to get my money back. 

 another 

You know what? Fuck this. I am done.

eBay has been completely worthless in supporting me as a seller. I have been more than reasonable, considering the buyer is not entitled to a return as far as I am concerned. Also all this squabbling is over $7 worth of non included parts, and that is only if you include the $5 power supply which explicitly says is not included, and is not pictured, so at best the buyer can argue for the $2 antennas he doesn't even need not being included. I have already offered the buyer 10x this as compensation, but he is being unreasonable.

I reply to him:

If you look at the listing, you will see that the description clearly says "Does not include anything other than the unit. Does not include the power supply (requires 12V 1A supply with a small barrel connector). Does not include antennas (uses RP-SMA connection)."

I do not appreciate you claiming that I am being misleading when I clearly stated that the power supply and antennas were not included. It is not my fault that you did not read the listing properly. The same listing that 7 other people bought and had no issues with. If you claim it is because the pictures show antennas, which is why you thought they were included.. well the pictures don't show the power supply, so you have no reason to think that is included.

I have been more than reasonable in offering you a partial refund to buy the parts that you incorrectly thought were included. It is not my fault if you bought something else before trying to resolve this, when all you had to do was spend $5 to buy a power supply. If you had done so and then told me that is what you had to do then I would have been reasonable and refunded you for the power supply, and/or the antennas, as I have already offered.

You made no attempt to resolve this after I responded to you when you first contacted me, and instead waited to escalate it to eBay.

I am really tired of this, so you know what? Put the unit back in the box, and mail it back to me. When I receive it and find that it is in the same condition as I sent it to you, I will give you a full refund. I will then sell it again to someone else who will have read the listing and will receive exactly what they bought, and be happy like the other 7 people I sold units to.

I await your reply.

He responds:

Showing the picture of the product with the antennas when you sell it without is misleading. All the rest is confusing. I request the full refund. Please send the prepaid return authorization.

EBay please step in. The seller sold me a product that is different from its advertized picture is misleading and I feel absolutely cheated.

Again, continuing to squabble about antennas that he doesn't need, which he could buy off eBay for $2, which I have already offered him a $20 refund to do.

I try again.

I told you in my previous message that I will give you a full refund, when I receive the item back and know that it is in the same condition as it was when I sent to it you, so that I can sell it again. Even after I offer you the refund to cover for your mistake, it's still not good enough?

If I pay for shipping back, how do I know you're even going to send it back? If you don't, then I end up nearly $200 out of pocket, and all because it didn't include $2 worth of antennas that you don't even need, which it clearly said in the listing are not included?

All of your messages and responses have been unreasonable when I have been trying to resolve this, and now it seems that you are attempting to scam me. I've had enough.

His response:

Send me the authorization with the prepaid return. 

It was not my mistake and that’s why I asked eBay to step in to resolve it. It does not look that you understand the damage you made and the seriousness of misleading the customer the way you did.

I try again with eBay support.

I contacted the seller [oops buyer] this morning and told him that I have had enough of this, and if he ships me back the modem I will give him a full refund.

He has just replied, not accepting this and continuing to argue and claim that I misled him. I am really frustrated because of the buyer being so unreasonable about $2 worth of antennas that are not even necessary not being included, and when the listing clearly said they were not.

At this point I feel he is being so unreasonable that if I was to prepay for the shipping, that he would not even ship it back, and then I would be left $180 out of pocket, and with no device to resell to try to get any of my money back. I now feel like the buyer is trying to scam me.

All of his messages and responses to me have been unreasonable when I have been trying to resolve this, making multiple offers of partial and full refunds, and he continues to argue. This is ridiculous.

Apparently this case is going to end tomorrow if there is no resolution and then I will get just get screwed out of both the item and the money, so I am requesting that you either extend the case and/or make a decision as to whether I will the money for the item or not, because he is just going to continue to be unreasonable, and not going to agree to any resolution.

The irrelevant reply:

Thanks for getting back to us, reading from your email I do understand that you don't believe that the buyer will return the item if ever you will send money. I'm here to assist since you have until tomorrow to facilitate the return.

Simon, I can guarantee you that once you pay for the return shipping cost and buyer failed to ship the item back we will closed the case in your favor and no refund will be give to your buyer. So I best suggest that you send money thru PayPal and ask for the buyer's PayPal email address.

I trust I was able to give you assurance that once the buyer failed to ship the item back you win the case.

I try to explain yet again.

My preference is to not pay for the shipping, as I do not believe that I should even have to accept the return.

I have been trying to compromise with the buyer, as he made a mistake by not reading the listing where I very clearly stated that the antennas are not included. These are optional antennas, not at all required, and he could have spent $2 to purchase if he wanted them. I told him that I would have sent them to him at my expense, if I had any to send. 

He continues to argue with me, continuously falsely claiming that I was misleading, which I take exception to, and refusing to accept any of the offers I make, including partial refunds to more than cover him purchasing the optional antennas, and even a full refund if he ships the item back to me at his expense, which I feel I am being very generous with, when as far as I am concerned it is not my fault that he didn't read the listing properly. 

This was not an issue for any of the 7 other buyers who all received exactly what they were buying based on the listing, and gave me positive feedback. 

My hope is that you will agree with me, and tell the buyer that it is unfortunate that they failed to read the listing properly, and that they are not entitled to return the item, as they received exactly what was described in the listing. 

If this is not the case, then my next offer is for the buyer to pay to return the item at his expense, as it was his error, and I will refund the item and original shipping cost. I think this is more than reasonable. 

I should not end up being penalised because of the buyer's mistake. Between the shipping cost I will end up being out of pocket, and the seller's fees I have had to pay, I will end up making pretty much no money, and if you close this case and refund the buyer then I will be out for my item worth $100, which would make me wonder why I should continue to sell things on ebay at all. 

I have been using ebay for 20 years and always had a 100% positive rating, so I find it very frustrating and disappointing to even have to go through this process when my listing could not have been made any clearer as to what the item did and did not include. 

To reiterate, I would like it if you could review the listing, and see where I specifically stated that antennas are not included, and consider that the buyer is requesting a refund because the antennas are not included, to which it should be obvious that the buyer is not entitled to a return or a refund. 

Here we go again with useless responses:

Thanks for getting back to us in regard to the case 5213102547. I fully understand that you listed the item that is does not come with antennas but the buyer insist on returning the item because they do not get the antenna. I know it would be a big lost for you if you will refund the buyer without getting the item back and I do not want that to happen. Let me clarify the situation and give you some option to consider.

Simon, for an update, the case hold will be released on November 16, and we need you to make an action because if you don't you will lose both money and the item. That is why my teammates are encouraging you to facilitate the return.

This is my simple suggestion, you can ask the buyer to accept a partial refund for them to buy their own antennas if it is just $2. We cannot require the buyer to return the item on their own cost because they opened a valid return. I checked the listing and see that on the description it says that the antennas are not included but on the pictures it clearly includes the antennas. Maybe that it the reason why the buyer claims that it was misleading.

I would like to highlight how accepting returns and providing immediate solution to your buyer will benefit you as a seller:

•         This won't count as a "case closed without seller resolution" towards your seller performance standards.

•         PayPal funds for the sale, which were placed on hold when the return was opened, will be released and applied to the refund.

•         Your eBay and PayPal fees will be automatically credited to your account when you issue a refund.

•         You may receive better Feedback and detailed seller ratings as a reflection of your professional behavior.

•         If you offer free returns, regardless of the reason for returning the item, you become eligible for free return protection and can issue less-than-full refunds if the item is returned damaged or with missing pieces.

I trust my communication was clear and I was able to explain the things you can do next.

Simon, your time and understanding for this process is highly commendable. Thanks for choosing eBay!

I'm really pissed off with this now.

Hello Abby,

If you review the message I sent, or any of my previous messages you will see that I have already offered the buyer a $20 refund for him to buy the $2 antennas which he does not even need. He refused this. This is one of the reasons why he is being unreasonable.

This case handling has been very disappointing. As I feel that you are not going to come to the correct conclusion, especially when an item I described correctly has been accepted as a valid return request, which it is not, and I am going to end up getting ripped off for my $100 item by the dishonest buyer, I give up.

I asked him to tell me his PayPal email address so I could send him the money for the shipping to return my item. He did not respond. Just like he did not respond to me after our initial contact, and instead waited and then escalated the case instead of trying to resolve it. Another reason he is being unreasonable. I believe he is now just wasting time so that the case will expire, you will refund him the money which you have already taken from me, and he will get to keep my item. This is theft.

A previous agent told me to use a returns dashboard to refund the shipping, but there is no such thing that I can see, and the only option I have available in the case view is to issue him a refund. I have now done this, as I want to ensure that I will be able to get my item back by responding before the case expires, so that I can sell it again to another buyer who is not dishonest and will try to scam me, and attempt to recover some of the money I will lose from having to pay the shipping on an invalid return request.

How is eBay going to make sure that I will get my item back? If the buyer does not send it back to me then I will be out of pocket for $280, as I will have no money and no item. This is unacceptable. I find it insulting that that is the situation eBay has put me in, considering that I have had a 100% positive feedback rating for the 20 years I have been using eBay, and never had any buyer make any claims against me before.

Between this whole utterly ridiculous process, by far the worst experience I have ever had in my 20 years of using eBay, the fact I have paid almost $100 in seller fees in the last 3 months alone, and it seems that eBay is now being complicit and assisting in my being ripped off for $280.. why would I choose to continue selling things on eBay?

And now I am evidently in robot responder canned response land.

Thank you for contacting eBay about the Claim#5213102547. I appreciate that you did your best to issue the refund to the buyer to settle the issue and asked them for their PayPal email address but the buyer is unresponsive. I am here to help you with this.

Simon, I really feel you because I am a seller as well, I did the same thing as well when I encounter the same situation. This is what I did when I encounter that, I contacted the buyer through eBay messages during weekends because most of the time they are busy during weekdays. I was able to get a respond during that time and sent them a return shipping cost for them to return the item. Kindly give your buyer a benefit of the doubt that they are busy so they were not able to respond to you.

As you can see, before you issue the refund, we have asked you to provide a return label or return shipping cost. The reason for this is because we always want you to be successful as a seller on eBay, so as part of an effort to build trust and engagement with potential buyers, sellers are required to pay for return shipping any time an item is not as described. Being in the selling business, online selling in particular is really tough especially if our customers complain about the item we sold them.

Paying for return shipping is a sign of good customer service. Buyers tend to go back and shop more from seller's who offer returns and pay for return shipping.

As part of our safety measure to protect our sellers, we will continue to run detection systems in the background that identify buyers who abuse the system and take action to deter them from filing returns.

I would like to highlight how accepting returns and providing immediate solution to your buyer will benefit you as a seller:

•         This would not count as a ""case closed without seller resolution"" towards your seller performance standards.

•         PayPal funds for the sale, which were placed on hold when the return was opened, will be released and applied to the refund.

•         Your eBay and PayPal fees will be automatically credited to your account when you issue a refund.

•         You may receive better Feedback and detailed seller ratings as a reflection of your professional behavior.

•         If you offer free returns, regardless of the reason for returning the item, you become eligible for free return protection and can issue less-than-full refunds if the item is returned damaged or with missing pieces.

I trust I've explained why we take this approach. Our experience is that a better returns experience for buyers will ultimately drive more sales for you as a seller.

Thank you for choosing eBay and have a great day!

Sincerely,

Maria N.

eBay Customer Support

Oh FFS. I have already said multiple times that there was no option to provide a return label. The only option the case gave me was to refund the buyer.

And what about the earlier agent who acknowledged that I had described my item correctly? That alone should have invalidated the whole claim and all of this crap.

I message the buyer and request his paypal email address so I can send the shipping cost (more money I will likely lose) so he can return the item. There is no reply.

At this point it's after 11PM and the case is going to expire, so eBay is going to refund the buyer, and just screw me. The only option I have in the case view is to offer a refund, so this is what I do. Now the buyer has the money, and the item, and I am out $40 shipping.

I email support again:

I am beginning to think that these are just all canned responses and there's actually no human reading any of these messages, as the responses are repetitive and not answering my questions. 

How is ebay going to make sure that the buyer returns my item? 

The case time limit forced me to issue the refund as I had no other options. There was no option for me to send only the return shipping cost, either through ebay nor PayPal, as the buyer will not respond to give me his PayPal email address. 

I get this back:

Good day!

Thank you for getting back to us. I understand that you have refunded the buyer even though you have not received the item yet. My name is Desiree and allow me explain how the return process works here in eBay.

When a buyer opens a return request, the seller has 3 business days to respond and provide a resolution to the buyer. If you are not able to work things out with your trading partner, after the third business day, either of you can ask eBay to step in and help.

After asking eBay to step in and help, the most likely scenario is that the seller will be instructed to facilitate the return within 4 days. If you tried to facilitate the return by sending a return label, we will notify the buyer to use the return label provided to return the item. The refund will not be issued until the item is delivered to the seller's return address.

In your situation, you opted to facilitate the return by asking the buyer for their PayPal email address. For this, if the buyer did not respond within the hold period that we have provided, then we will either provide an additional time for the buyer to respond or will notify them to return the item at their cost.

I apologize that you felt that you had no other choice but to refund the buyer due to the hold that was placed on the case. However, this hold period was for you to try and facilitate the return. If they have not responded by the end of the period, we will not hold you at fault for this and the buyer will not get their money back until you received the item.

We will only initiate the refund if you fully did not try to provide any means of return even if we have instructed you and the buyer has provided the necessary information to do so.

Since this case is already closed due to the voluntary refund that you have processed, we can only advise you to continue contacting the buyer to make arrangements for the return of the item. We will not be able to step in on this case since it is already closed.

I hope that you will be able to work things out with the buyer and that you will get your item back soon.

Thank you for choosing eBay and I wish you luck on your future transactions.

Sincerely,

Desiree D.

eBay Customer Support

Oh FFS. I give up. Can nobody read any more? How many times do I have to tell them the same things, including the fact that their case gave me no option to only refund the shipping, and the only option they gave me was to give a full refund?

The next day the buyer responds to my request for his paypal email address so I can send the funds for him to return my item, with:

Isn’t the return authorization and shipment slip down through eBay?

OYG. I am so done with this. I reply:

As the case had been escalated there was no option for me to do that. The only option I had was to issue a refund.

The eBay support agents told me to ask you for your PayPal email address so I can send you the shipping cost so that you can return the item.

He finally responds and gives me his email address. I use the USPS website and calculate that it will cost $17.25 USD to send it back via the cheapest method. Sending this to the buyer via PayPal costs me $27 CAD once the exchange rate is done and PayPal puts their BS fees on top.

So right now, I have no item, no payment, I have paid $40 to mail the item to San Diego, and have sent the buyer another $30 to send it back, which eBay will do nothing about if he does not, leaving me $70 out of pocket plus the $100 value of the item.

If I manage to get it back, and sell it again to someone who can read, and get the $100 for it, then it's down to $30, and then I have to pay eBay 10% of however much it sells for, including the shipping, which in this case was $14, so now I'm down to making $16, if the buyer returns the item, and I can sell it again.

What a great experience eBay! Have a great day!

Holy fuck. Just when I thought this was over, buyer responds..

eBay requires to send the return product insured. Please add the insurance fee to the shipping cost. Please specify the amount you want it to be insured. Also please specify the name of the recipient.

Sigh. I reply.

There is only insurance required when eBay is holding the funds. I have already released them to you, so now you just need to return the item. This is already costing me $70 in shipping so I am not interested in paying even more money to get my item back. I am also not interested in paying PayPal more fees to transfer you more money.

Please send it to me via First-Class Package International Service for $17.25 as I sent you this morning.

And the recipient's name is my name, which is on all of these messages, and my seller name, ie Simon Quigley.

So now we wait for next item of bullshit.

Thursday, November 2nd

I spent the day at home of not doing much, except working on the arduino wifi light switches I've been developing for a few weeks, using the cheap ESP8266 modules I discovered recently, along with having set up an MQTT broker (I may resurrect my techblog to go into more detail about this stuff, since anyone reading this probably has no interest..).

I decided to finally get over to the hospital to visit my friend who had been in there for 5 weeks at this point, which I had been telling myself each day I would go and visit, and not getting there. We sat and chatted for an hour and a half or so. She tossed me a stress ball when I got there, which had a smiley face on it. Had a smiley face, since during the time we spent chatting I was playing with it, and managed to almost completely rub the face off just through squashing and rolling it in my hands while we talked.

We had some interesting conversation, sarcastic and cynical at times, but almost entirely humorous. It helped me be distracted and feel a bit better, hopefully it had the same effect for her. The topic of medications came up, perhaps since I think she's been prescribed almost all of them at some point, and we talked about the trazaodone I had been prescribed, and how it wasn't working. She mentioned that she had had that issue before, and it was caused by a vitamin D deficiency.

I later "did some research" (ie googled) about trazodone and vitamin D, and found some interesting articles about how it depletes your vitamin D, so I can see how it may not work very well if you don't have any vitamin D for it to deplete.. I also found articles about vitamin D deficiency being related to depression, so perhaps if I am vitamin D deficient (which apparently most people are), this could have contributed to the depression I have been suffering from recently, more than usual.

I'm very cynical, and believe almost nothing I read on the internet without being able to find multiple sources, and proper citation of medical studies and theories etc, but I found sufficient sources to back this up that I felt it was worth more follow up, ie asking the doctor about it when I went to see them next week.

My housemate had bought 2 tickets for us to go and see Carol Burnett at the NAC, so when I realised the time, I made my way home to get them. He had been sick all week and decided not to go. I advertised the spare ticket on Facebook, but no-one saw it in time, so I ended up going on my own. It was a very funny show, and I had a good time.

Afterwards, I realised to do the laptop repair I had offered my friend, I needed an external hard drive case, which was on my desk at work. I drove to the office, and went in to get it. Opening the door caused the alarm to immediately go off for some reason, which I was able to stop and disable by putting my code in. I messaged the president and let him know I had made the alarm go off, as the alarm company would be contacting him about it. Apparently the "glass break" sensor on the door had erroneously triggered, at least this is what the alarm company reported had caused the alarm to go off when I opened the door.

I collected the external drive case I needed, and left the office. I hadn't had dinner, between the time I had spent at the hospital, and then at the show, and now realised I was pretty hungry. Being lazy, I decided to go to Burger King on the way home.

I drove there, parked, and when I tried to go inside, thinking it would be nice to sit at a table and eat, I discovered the door was locked, and then noticed a sign on the door telling me that the "dinning room" was closed.

I got back in my car, went through the drive through, which was a very confusing and frustrating experience, as due to my ordering a "whopper with cheese meal" they decided I had somehow asked for "no mayo". I wasn't bothered since I don't really like it, and usually order it that way, but wasn't wanting to be difficult or cause a delay by doing that at this time, so I just went with it, but then thye clarified what I had ordered at the window, so we went through the process of correcting it.

While I was waiting at the window for my food, a vehicle which must have contained people the staff knew entered the drive through, and placed and order, which resulted in the staff whooping and hollering and behaving in an unprofessional manner.

I eventually got my food, pulled over and parked in the parking lot and sat in the car to eat it, and then went home. I don't recall the rest of the evening's events.

Wednesday, November 1st.

Wednesday, November 1st.

I have been posting some of these things on Facebook, but I am reposting them here as I try to start journalling/blogging again. I'm also adding more things here which I didn't put on Facebook.

A friend had reached out to me, and asked me if I wanted to meet up for a coffee while she was waiting around downtown. I said that sounded good. She's a life coach, and that was some of why she reached out to me. She doesn't like having her friends ask her to help them, because they expect to not pay, and it's what she does for a living, so spending time giving people advice for free doesn't pay the bills..

I said I understood, as I used to get (ab)used to fix people's computers all the time, since it was something I was good at, but that didn't mean I wanted to do it for everyone, or for free all the time. That said, I still do it every now and then, if someone says they have a problem, but aren't asking me to help/fix it, as I choose to help them out. She didn't know I had the computer knowledge that I have, and I asked her about what her issues were, and it was that her Macbook had died, and she had been quoted $450 or more for a new motherboard and keyboard to fix her 2012 Macbook.

Someone had lent her a computer to use in the mean time, until she can get hers fixed, and I said that I would help with the data recovery/transfer if she wanted, for free, since I enjoy it, in some masochistic way. She was reluctant to accept, so I told her to go back to the repair place, and get a quote from them for transferring her data, and then she could decide if she wanted to pay them to do it, or have me do it for her.

Moving on, we started talking about me and my recent struggles. I showed her the plan that the psychiatrist and I had come up with at the hospital, which she read through, and acknowledged that it was all very short term things, and that I needed a plan for longer term.

We talked about "value" and "purpose", something I'm having a lot of issues with. I feel that my value comes from my job, and my partner. When I have a job that doesn't make me happy, which I'm not getting any satisfaction or sense of achievement from, and no partner, I feel like I am worthless.

This is the reason I got so depressed on Sunday night, as a result of being turfed out by the girl I loved, after she'd given me some false hope of perhaps getting back together, and because I just wanted to see her and talk to her, and I barely saw her for a couple of minutes before she threw me out, and I knew that the next morning I had to go back to work, to my job where I feel under-utilised, which causes me frustration, which makes me drink too much, which makes me obnoxious, and to have no memory of my actions, which was a contributing factor to why my girlfriend got fed up and left me, taking away most of what I feel gives me value.

I also don't know what my purpose is. This lead to us discussing what I would do, if I could do anything. I was hesitant to respond to that, and have been hesitant to discuss it since, including here and now, but I told her that I want to be doing something with renewable energy, like solar and wind power, in order to provide power for lighting, cooking, water purification etc, for developing areas, in order to help people to be able to get a (better) education.

My hesitation to talk about this, is because I feel it's something that's out of reach to me. I don't have any qualifications in anything to do with renewable energy, other than having played with solar stuff for Burning Man and camping trips the last few years.

She suggested I look into contacting some NGOs, applying to work for them, because the worst thing they can do is tell me no. I have spent a little bit of time recently looking into this, but not really making a proper effort, as I have a couple of concerns, namely that perhaps someone says yes, but then I realise how unqualified I am, or I discover it's not something I want to be doing at all, and then I'm back to square one, with no idea of what my purpose it.

It's a more comfortable situation to be in to know what I want to do, but not doing it, so I don't find out that I can't/don't want to etc.

We ended up chatting for a couple of hours, and then I re-iterated about her getting a quote for the data transfer from her laptop, and that I was happy to do it, especially as an exchange for the time she had given me helping me from her life coach experience and training.

While we had been drinking our coffees, the foam from mine had been getting stuck in my moustache. I really needed a haircut, as I had been very lazy about my appearance for the last few months, probably as part of the depression I had been feeling since the end of my relationship.

There's a barber shop near the coffee shop we'd been in, that I used to go to when I first moved to Ottawa almost 10 years ago. I decided to go back there, having not been there for years, since I was happy with the haircuts and beard trims they do.

After getting my hair, beard, and moustache cleaned up, I felt a little bit better, seeing a tidier version of myself in the mirror.

With conflicted thoughts (and why I haven't discussed this until now), I messaged my ex girlfriend again, and asked if she was available for us to meet somewhere like a coffee shop (rather than her apartment), so we could take for a few minutes. I wanted to discuss Sunday night, as she had messaged me very late the night before, and told me that she was upset because she may have been the last person to have ever spoken to me. Even though what she had done by escalating things and then throwing me out hadn't been fair to me, I didn't think it was fair to leave her feeling upset or guilty about it. What I did was my choice.

She messaged back a few minutes later and said she had just finished work. It was raining, so I asked her if she would like for me to pick her up at work, and drive her near home where we could go to a coffee shop, so she didn't have to walk in the rain. She agreed. I picked her up, and we drove towards her place.

On the way I told her that after consideration of what happened on Sunday night (since I had kept replaying it over and over in my mind), I understood why she had regretted her actions and told me to leave, my reason being because I thought that she realised that while we both missed each other and still loved each other, for us to get back together may not result in things being any better than they were when she broke up with me, and that she's now with someone else, who treats her better than I did, and she didn't want to jeopardise that. She told me that this was correct.

I told her that I wasn't angry with her, and that I just wanted to have this conversation so I could tell her so, and that I understood her reasons, and that I didn't want her to feel guilty or upset for her actions, primarily because it was a mutual (bad) decision for us to see each other on Sunday night, and so it was a shared responsibility.

We arrived at her building, sat in the car speaking for a few more minutes, I told her about my plans to improve things, going back to get counselling again etc, and making an active effort to stop drinking so much and as a result acting in the obnoxious way that I (apparently) do/did.

We then discussed the messaging, and agreed that she wouldn't contact me, except to respond if I contacted her. Also that when we were going to be at the same things, since we are in overlapping social circles, we would try to discuss this (something I had brought up earlier, that we would discuss, and I would perhaps not attend things she was going to be at), or we would arrive slightly earlier so that we had a chance to interact before other people got there.

We hugged, and then she got out of the car, and I left and drove over to St Paul University where I had been going about 18 months (or more, bad memory) ago to see a counsellor, to sign up to start seeing someone again. Unfortunately they don't have anyone available to see me until February :-(

I got on the waiting list anyway, even though by February I may not need the help, since I will have helped myself by then, or had another severe depressive episode and perhaps more successfully injured myself than this time. They gave me a couple of phone numbers of other places that may be able to help me sooner.

Trying to make myself feel a bit better, since between the interaction with my ex gf and the disappointing result of going over to the University, I decided I would go and buy some groceries to make myself some comfort food for dinner, even though I have not been hungry for weeks, and haven't been eating much at all. If I hadn't been drinking so much I might have lost a bit more weight than I have, which I could handle.

I headed over to the supermarket, dragged myself around picking up the things I needed, and then went to the registers. There were a couple of people in the line in front of me. As the person being served tried to finish and pay, the register screwed up. The checkout person kept saying "I've never seen this before" about whatever was on the screen facing them.

They told us to go to another register. I had only unloaded a couple of items from the basket, so I packed them up and wandered over. The woman in front of me had a large amount of things to put back in her cart, so when she came over, I motioned for her to go in front of me, since she had been in front in the other line. She unloaded some of her things onto the conveyor.

There was a guy at this register attempting to complete a transaction which he had tried earlier, but the register had crashed. They rescanned all his stuff, and then as he tried to pay, this register stuffed up. I started to lose what little patience I had. They screwed around with the register for a couple of minutes, mentioning that it seemed to happen after they scanned his airmiles card, and that had happened on the other register too.. and then told us all to go over to the one remaining working register.

The woman in front of me gave up and just left, leaving half her stuff on the conveyor, and the rest in her cart. I should have followed her. I picked up my basket, and walked all the way over to the one remaining register, with the other 10 people or so trying to buy stuff.

In perhaps a very Canadian way, they started saying "oh, you were in front of me over there" or "I just got here, you should go before me", and perhaps because people saw the dejected look I had on my face, I ended up being directed up the line to be second.

The guy who had been in front of the woman and I at the other register had been moved over here, and they scanned all his stuff again. I unpacked my basket again. It gets to the total, and while I should have said "how about you don't scan his airmiles card, in case that's what's crashing the register, and then the rest of us can buy our stuff and go home", I said nothing.

They scanned his card. It crashed the register. Oh your god. I put my arm down on the side of the conveyor. I put my head down on my arm. This was the end of my patience, and my energy. This was probably lucky or else I might have gone postal.

They started screwing with this machine. "Oh, it's done it too.. after I scanned the airmiles card again". I lifted my head up, and I said "Maybe you should have worked out after you crashed the last 2 registers with the airmiles card to not do it to the last working machine?". No response. Critical thinking is probably not one of the skills that a checkout person has.

I put my head down again. Serenity now. They started making an announcement over the PA that "all the registers are froze [sic], and we don't know how long it will be".

I sat down on the floor between the registers. I just wanted to buy some food to go home and make myself dinner after the draining, somewhat crappy afternoon I had had. I waited. I had no patience left. I knew I did not have the energy or mental capacity to drive to another supermarket and collect all the groceries again. I waited.

They made the announcement about the "registers all being froze [sic]" again. That they still didn't know how long it would be. I waited a few more minutes, still sitting on the floor, trying to hold it together. I was done. I got up and walked out, leaving all my stuff on the conveyor.

I tried to leave, but they had locked the door I went to, and just had one door unlocked and there was a staff member standing there to let people out, and not letting people in. He told me to go out that door, I walked over, past him through the door, back to my car.

As soon as I got in the car I broke down. I'd wasted an hour here now, and ended up with nothing. After feeling sorry for myself and having a sad for a few minutes, and thinking about just going home, I decided that I still should probably eat something, since I had not eaten anything since some point on Sunday, maybe, I couldn't remember, and this now being Wednesday night.

I really didn't want something crappy like McDonalds, and I thought about it for a few minutes, and decided I wanted a poutine from Smokes. I was conflicted about this though, as when I had been speaking with my ex gf, she told me that she was going to a show at the venue across the street, and I was concerned that I may somehow see her while I was walking to go into the poutine place, or while I was in there etc.

Again I started thinking about just going home to bed without eating anything, but I knew this probably wasn't a good idea to make myself feel any better after having not eaten for days, so I drove all the way back downtown again. I was feeling very negative at this point, and figured that they would probably be out of potatoes or something when I got there. In actual fact, there was no issue. I got the poutine I wanted, and quite quickly, and I sat down to eat. This almost immediately made me feel a bit better.

I looked through the paper while I ate. I got to the crossword/sudoku etc page, which has the horoscopes on it. I think horoscopes are complete nonsense, but it's my guilty pleasure to read them every now and then when I come across them, mostly so I can think "pff!".

This was the horoscope:

Sigh. On the same page was a recipe for chilli con carne, under the heading "Make it tonight", another nice irony, since that's exactly what I had been at the supermarket trying to buy the ingredients to make, before I ended up here. If I believed in a deity controlling things, I'd also believe they had a sick sense of humour.

I finished my poutine, quickly headed back to my car to limit the risk of seeing my ex gf across the street, and I went home and went to bed. I took a sleeping pill, but it didn't work, and I was up most of the night.